To say that 2017 was a year of immense growth would be a bit of a strange statement. That would imply that I didn’t grow and change as much or enough during all the other years of my life, and I don’t think that’s true. So in that sense, 2017 was just another year.
Some things that happened in 2017:
• I started out with high expectations for my college life — where I would go, what I would study, who I would meet. In hindsight, I think I was in a delusional state of mind while applying to the colleges on my list. I thought that with all of the “impressive” stuff that I had accomplished, surely I’d have a couple brand-name universities to choose from come March.
• I proceeded to have my expectations shit on as decision letters rolled in. This was the lowest point of my year. At the time, it felt unfair, how all of my time and effort had led to so little. I cried, for the first time in a long time. Then I got over it.
• I figured out which people in my life matter to me, and I started giving less shits about the people who don’t. To put it bluntly, time wasted on irrelevant people is time I’m never getting back. I’d rather not waste that time.
• I learned to start feelin’ myself. As in Nicki Minaj + Beyonce feelin’ myself. This has been and will continue to be a process, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come in terms of self-confidence. Nobody important will ever think about me as much as I think about myself, so my own opinion is really the only one that matters. I don’t care if that sounds narcissistic, because frankly I’d rather be a narc than stress out over what other people think of me.
• I gallivanted around South Korea for two weeks and had a damn good time. Travelling with friends is fantastic.
• I stayed in China for five weeks and reconnected with my extended family. Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like to grow up around them, had my parents chosen to stay in China. The few times that I visited them were filled with loud family dinners, something that I don’t get here, when it’s just my immediate family of few words.
• I left for college. I met good people, started going to the gym, and ate lots of kale. These are trends I want to continue.
• I downloaded Tinder twice, and I deleted it twice. Tinder is like a crappy thrift store. You don’t want to buy 99% of the clothes because they’re ugly or smell weird or whatever, and even with the 1% that you do end up buying, you find a stain or a hole in once you get home. Find a better thrift store.
• I started this blog. At every point in my life, I’ve always made a creative outlet for myself, but during junior or senior year of high school, that came to a stop. I’ve had several people tell me that I should start/would be good at YouTube/fashion/content creating, and I’m not going to lie, that has always been in the back of my mind as a dream job. Still, this blog is mainly for myself — I just want a product of my creativity on the internet and I don’t care if no one sees it. Hopefully it sticks around for a while.
• As for New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve never been good at keeping those, and let’s be real, who the hell has? I’ll do without them this year, and instead I’ll just remind myself to live unapologetically.
See ya 2017.